Monday, February 13, 2006

So much for having lots of free time

After 10 years of continuous employment, I'm finding that looking for a job takes a huge amount of time. And while I'm conducting my own job search, I'm constantly calling funeral homes to find out where we can send hubby's resume. With only one income, we just can't afford to have two separate households. And moving to where hubby works now is probably not an option. A new funeral home is opening up in the town where he works, and it's expected that his place will lose maybe half their business to the new home, since the guys that are running it are locals, and hubby's place is owned by a major funeral service company. The folks in the small town where he's working really haven't warmed up to the new manager there, so they are sure to lose some business, which doesn't bode well for the hubster, since he's the new guy. If they wind up having to cut back, I know he'll be the first to go. Not to mention the fact that he's still not really an employee - they are paying as a contract laborer, which means that he's essentially self-employed, so no benes or anything. This contract thing was supposed to last for two weeks - it's now been four months, and all the excuses he keeps getting for the delay just don't make any sense. I think they're dragging out the contract thing to save money, and it is really screwing up my tax returns, since he'll have to file as self-employed. Self-employed means no benes, no sick pay, no bereavement pay, all sorts of hassles. But he still has to act like an employee - it's the worst of both worlds.

And the drama just keeps continuing. Hubby's grandfather just passed away this weekend, so he had to take off work and fly out of town to go to the funeral. Let me tell you - Continental Airlines "compassion" fare is a joke. The full price ticket purchased the day before travel would have been $914. With the compassion fare, the price was $780 - not very compassionate in my book. If it had been cheaper, I would have gone with him, but alas, I had to stay home. I'm sure all of his relatives, most of whom I've not met, must surely have a bad opinion of me for not showing up for their patriarch's funeral.

I can feel myself getting more and more depressed, but I don't want to start with the SSRIs again - everytime I've tried them, I've just gotten crazier and crazier. I'm not taking any meds at all right now except my Synthroid and Xanax. I dropped the meds they were giving me for the stomach troubles because I read that there is a strong potential for irreversible side effects, something called Tardive Dyskinesia. I think I was starting to show symptoms - a lot of compulsive lip chewing, and choking on liquids very often. I'd rather be nauseated than have a permanent neurological condition. Gastropariesis has it's benefits - I can't each much at a time, so I'm not gaining any more weight, and am actually losing a bit, albeit very slowly. Most days I just stick to a semi-liquid diet, stuff like that Ensure crap and a lot of ramen soup.

The job search isn't going well - my resume is pretty crappy, and except for my last two jobs, every other place I've ever worked is out of business, so I don't have any references. I got fired from the last job and quit the one before that under really bad circumstances, so I don't expect to get very good refs. I think I'll send the resume out to a professional resume writer - they did a really good job with hubby's . If anybody in Houston is reading this and knows of a software support job (preferably support manager), let me know. I'd probably work for half my previous salary just to get some insurance for me and the family - my COBRA insurance is over $800 a month. I wasn't even going to bother buying it, but all it would take would be one bad accident to ruin us then. I don't really have to worry about money right now, since I got a good severance package and cashed out my 401K, but the lack of insurance really worries me. I can probably live close to a year on what we've got stashed now, but I'd rather get a damn job and use that money to pay off most of our huge debts.

Oh well, enough whining for now. Back to my Jim Beam Black Label, just the thing to wash down the night-time Xanax ;-)


Blogger Sean said...

Just finished my first year as self-employed, and the tax thing is a big shock. I owe a *lot* of money :-(

Thinking about signing up with a portable-employer-of-record. That way, I still get my clients and get to work on what I want, but I get a W2 and bennies. They take between 4-10% from me for all that, but I'm thinking it might be worth it.

Careful what you mix! and hit me up on IM sometime dammit :-*

2/14/2006 7:42 AM  
Blogger stewbie2 said...

I'll keep my eyes and ears open for you!

2/14/2006 9:44 AM  

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