Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I'm back!

But just long enough to say Hi. For a change, I've actually been terribly busy at work, instead of just trying to look terribly busy. I'm still doing essentially useless stuff, but at least the time goes by quicker.

I did have a few minutes of downtime earlier, and amused myself playing with the numerous toys on my desk. My favorite is a can of "Smart Mass" from thinkgeek.com, which is like Silly Putty for grown-ups. So, I'm sitting at my desk, idly playing with the gooshy Smart Mass while I read email. When one of my cow-orkers stopped by for a chat, I just stuck the Smart Mass to my desk and kept fiddling with it with one hand. I noticed that Ms. Cow-orker had a weird look on her face, but I didn't pay it any mind. Until she left my office, that is. That's when I realized that I had, completely inadvertently, sculpted the Smart Mass into the shape of a penis. So while we were chatting, I was jacking off a gooey green dick. Incidents like this probably explain why I don't get invited out to lunch more often.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

This is strange...

I went out for lunch, and when I got back, there were roses lying on my desk. No card, either. I have no idea who would have left roses on my desk. They are really pretty, though. One red, one white, one pink, and some fluffy yellow flowers to make a nice arrangement. Bizarre...I hope I haven't acquired a stalker.

Big boobs...safety hazard

I can't believe what I just did to myself. I was sitting sort of on the edge of my chair, digging through a file drawer behind my desk. I opened my desk drawer to get a paper clip, turned back to my files and the phone rang. So, I spun the chair around and grabbed for the phone. Too fast...I slipped off the edge of the chair, hit the desk with my chest, and managed to shut the desk drawer on both of my boobs. Owowowowow! I'm supposed to report every injury, no matter how minor, but there's no way I'm going down to HR with this one. Especially since my last reported injury was a huge bruise on my ass that happened when I tried to wheel around the server room in a chair with a broken caster. I tried to keep that one under wraps, too, but unfortunately the loud crash when the chair flipped over backwards brought several folks running in. Very embarassing to be found flat on one's back in ruins of a broken chair. Oh well, we did get new chairs for the server room after that.

This isn't even my first on-the-job boob injury, either. About 16 years ago, I shut metal cashbox on one of my nipples - I actually had to go to the doctor for that one. It swelled up a lot and hurt really bad, huge blood blister. It was sort of fun trying to explain that one to my boss at the time...he got more embarassed than I did, turning completely red at the mere mention of "nipple". I got two days off, no questions asked ;-)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Not much going on...

It's been pretty boring lately, nothing to blog about. My youngest went off on his first trip away from home without family last weekend. It was a church thing, so I knew he'd be fine, but I still missed him terribly. Especially when I had to take care of the dogs in the morning. He was tired and filthy when I picked him up Sunday evening - said he just didn't have time to take a shower the whole time he was there. Bleh - boys his age are just so funky. I'll be glad when he starts to take a little more interest in personal hygiene!

The gastroparesis is a lot better. I'm only nauseated for a few hours after I eat, instead of all the time, and it's not completely incapacitating like it was at first. Good thing, too - I'm sure my boss is getting tired of me leaving early all the time.

Hubby's really enjoying his new funeral director gig out in the country. It's about 2 hours away and he should get to come home every other weekend. People don't usually give you 2 hourse notice before they die, so he had to rent an apartment there. He took one of the dogs with him so he wouldn't be so lonely. Now I know for sure which dog can't stay out of the wastebaskets - and he's got her, so less mess for me!

Like I said, it's been pretty boring....