Saturday, September 24, 2005

Well, that was pretty much a non-event

We haven't had much rain to speak of, and we need some anyway. It's a little windy, so I have some smallish tree branches all over the front yard, but Rita seems to have passed us by. Guess I'm not getting new carpet out of this storm. It was sort of sad watching the newscasters try to keep their momentum going once they all realized we weren't getting any action.

I hope it doesn't take too long for things to get back to normal. I haven't been able to buy bread or milk for days. My husband hasn't still gotten paid for his first two weeks of work (payroll error - they printed him a check for $0.00), and he won't be getting paid for his little Rita vacation.

We've been trying to figure out if there's anywhere you can move to in this country that isn't plagued with one natural disaster or another. Seems like our choices are hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, wildfires, earthquakes, & volcanos. I guess we'll pick hurricanes, since you get plenty of notice, and we're sorta used to them after all these years.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Sorry about the google ads, by the way ;-)

If you're seeing what I'm seeing, they are all about flatulence and diarrhea - classy, eh?

Waiting on Rita

We are on the western edge of Houston, and have decided to sit out the storm. It looks like it won't be as bad here as first thought, which is good, since the highways going out of town are packed. People are running out of gas after sitting on the freeway, covering 18 miles in 11 hours! We're insured (flood and homeowner's), and we've never had water in the house before, so we're not too worried. I'm sorta worried about the chimney - I think it's wobbly already. And we have an addition on the house that's not much different structurally from a mobile home - that's a bit worrisome, too. OK, I guess *I'm* worried - hubby is not worried a bit. I've been watching the disaster channel and filling ice trays & water bottles all day - he's been playing Playstation games.

I'm just praying the power stays on. And the cable - I'll go mad without an internet connection.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Stroke of luck today!

Despite what my family doctor said, the gastroenterologist I saw today said that he doesn't think an expensive endocosply and colonoscopy is warranted at this time. I have shitload of pills today (3 new prescriptions today). With all the meds I started on Tuesday, I felt pretty good today. They all have a sedating effect, though, so I am sleepy and unmotivated all the time. Still I'd rather being lying around veging out than sitting for hours on end with a bucket handy just in case I have to barf.

I can't really complain about the medical care I've received - everyone's been very thorough and treated me well, but there are a few things they really glossed over before the surgery. Like the fact that you can have terrible diarrhea for months after having your GB out, and it's permanent for some people. They can't really explain the nausea - all the tests ruled out a retained stone, bile leakage or pancreatitis. The gastro doc explained today that any sort of digestive system surgery, no matter how minor, is really an insult to your whole GI system, and some people just take longer to get over it.

I didn't expect to have all these problems - I always bounced back so fast after giving birth and after my last major surgery. I expected this to be a few days of discomfort and the time off at work to be a vacation. I had all these plans of stuff I was going to get done while I recovering - I've accomplished nothing. Before all the new pills, all waking moments were spent in the bathroom or with my head in a bucket. With all the new pills, I spend most of my time staring at whatever is on TV, too lazy to even reach for the remote.

I was supposed to go back to work today - that didn't happen. I'm going back on Monday (unless something else goes wrong) - I just hope I can stay awake with all these pills. Nearly everyone of them has drowsiness as a side effect. Add my regular Xanax to the mix, and LosingSanity is one stoned chick.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

On the mend, sort of, and some rambling

I haven't had any bipolar symptomns in weeks, months maybe, and the only psych med I'm taking now is Xanax. But now I have a whole new crop of pills & liquids for my new stomach problems. Protonix, for stomach acid. Phenergan, for nausea. Lomotil liquid (now with atropine added to discourage recreational use!), for diarrhea. Levsin, for intestinal cramps. All this stuff makes me super-sleepy, so I won't be going back to work on Thursday as planned. I have to see a gastroenterologist on Thursday. I'm tentatively scheduled to go back to work on Monday. My doctor tells me that I will probably have to have an endoscopy and colonscopy, which I guess makes me a bead, since I'll be threaded from end to end. I hope I can get knocked out for this - it doesn't sound pleasant. The only bright side to this so far is that there are no more gallbladder pains (since no more gallbladder), and all of my incisions are healing up great. My family doctor says that my gallbladder must have been huge, as the incision that it is pulled out of is about 3 times longer than he said was usual.

I'm so tired of going to the damn doctor. In the past month, it's been the GP twice, the surgeon twice, surgery, and a trip to the emergency room, two sonagrams, and at least one more doctor visit coming up. I have bruises all over my hands from all the IVs and blood drawing. Man, I thought being mentally ill sucked - it was a walk in the park compared to being physically sick. And the process of being diagnosed is just as bad, if not worse than being sick. There is very little dignity in the whole medical process. I have just about had it with cold fingers poking me all over my belly, and now I'm gonna have to pay a guy to shove a camera up my ass. My church keeps sending me cards with their offers of prayers for healing and everyone is just positive that the Lord is going to heal me - if so, I truly wish he'd just get on with it.

Sorry for all the whining, folks. I feel pretty sorry for myself right now. Along with all this medical BS, we've had to deal with all this hurricane Katrina business - it's very nerve-wracking to have my entire family scattered all over the place without real places to live and work. And now I have the prospect of moving to the devastated area in a year or less, since that is where hubby will likely be working. I just worry that we won't be able to find suitable housing. I'm sure not gonna buy a house out there - I doubt I could even begin to afford the homeowner's insurance - so we're gonna be renters again. That wouldn't be such a big deal, but I imagine in the coming months and years there is going to be a shortage of homes for rent. We have three dogs, so apartments aren't really an option. Two of our dogs are very old with behavior problems, and not really re-homable, so adopting them out would probably not be possible. It just kills me to even think about it, but someone recommended that the kindest thing to do if we can't keep them is to have them put down. I'm not even going to think about that until the last possible minute.

Even though it's not in the funeral biz, this job that hubby's taken could work out really good for us. We could probably live on just his salary after I cash out my 401k and pay off all our debts, so I'd be able do contract work, preferably work at home stuff. First I have get this awful house sold, though. Hubby has kind of given up on the funeral thing - he can't find an apprenticeship where we live, and we can't afford to live on appprentice wages elsewhere. I'm hoping that in a few years, once we are out of debt and get some cash saved up, that we can just buy a funeral home and he can be an apprentice with an employee to act as his sponsor. I really want for us to own our own business, and I hate to see hubby work so hard to get an education that he can't use. He's really bummed about it and thinks he will never be able to get licensed, so I'll be scheming behind the scenes for a while, learning all I can about buying a funeral home. There's so much to learn - I need a business plan, find funding, find properties, etc. - and I have no idea where to start. Google in this case was just not my friend. Just about any search that contains the word 'funeral' pulls up a ton of obits, but nothing useful.

Wow, the tummy meds are kicking in hard right now - it is so hard to type. I feel totally high right now, which is a vast improvement over sitting on the toilet with my head in the waste basket. I'm seeing the gastro doc tomorrow - wish me luck!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Not doing so well lately

I've been really sick since my gallbladder surgery. I am due to return to work in a few days and I still feel as weak as a kitten. And nauseated all the time - bleh! I've spent most of the last week lying down, praying not to barf. But today I need to summon up some strength and drag my ass to the grocery store. My son is celebrating his upcoming birthday with a sleepover tonight, and we'll need provisions. I just hope I can make it through the next few hours without puking or fainting (right now it feels like I might just do both).

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I'm back!

Gallbladder is out - I'm much better off without it. I wish I could say all was well. My parents were here for the surgery, displaced by Hurricane Katrina. They are trying to go home today - no amount of begging would change my father's mind. We've got word that their house is still standing, not flooded, but there's no power, water, gas, or phones. There are looters breaking into hospitals and burning down the malls.

Hubby's new job is right in the middle of a flooded Louisiana parish - we don't know if he's gonna have a job to go to or not. And even if he still has the job, I don't know how he's gonna find a place to live there. He'd planned on staying with my parents for a while, but the only bridge that connects their town with the one he's to work in is gone. I expect housing will be in short supply - no telling what he's gonna do. I wish he'd just find another job, something to keep him home.

I can't quit watching the news - I can't believe what's happened to my hometown. I'm just in shock. I wish I could do more to help than pray. I just can't believe how much is just *gone*.