Thursday, August 25, 2005

Saw the surgeon today

They are going to try to get me scheduled for surgery Monday morning. I might not have to stay overnight at the hospital. I would really rather come home as soon as possible. I hate the whole hospital experience. After I had my hysterectomy, I was in the hospital 3 nights, and it was miserable. At least I had the room to myself - that was sort of nice, or it would have been, if they didn't wake me up over and over again for what really seemed to be inane BS in the middle of the night. Anyway, I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Gallstones suck.

The surgeon's office was surreal. It was jam-packed with people, lots of them old. One guy must have been pretty hard of hearing - he talked *really* loud. After we'd been there a few minutes, we realized that almost everyone there was bitching about how long they'd been waiting. One lady had already been there over 2 hours. Then a nurse came out and told us that one of the surgeons (the one I was waiting for) had just left to go stabilize a patient, but he'd be back ASAP. That was comforting. I had a 3:30 appointment - we didn't leave the hospital until 6:00. So we had the added bonus of rush hour traffic, with some construction thrown in just for fun. I will be *so* glad to move out of the city.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Even more suckage

If you've been reading for a while, you might recall that my son gave me a horrific case of food-poisioning a few weeks ago. But even after cleaning out the slimy tea pitcher, I never did get better. Still nauseated, lots of pain, no appetite. My husband finally insisted that I go to the doctor. He sent me out for an ultrasound, and it turns out that have gallstones. The gall bladder will have to come out. I'm not sure when I'll be having the surgery, though, Still waiting for the Dr. to call me back.

The doc gave me some Phenergan for the nausea yesterday, and all I can say is "Wow". It must have some weird interaction effect with the Xanax. I kept sleepwalking and talking in my sleep, to the point that hubby just gave up and went to sleep in the guest room. I have bruises all over from bumping into things in the dark. Bleh.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Another work week finished

This was not a very good week. I don't know if it's anxiety or what, but I've had butterflies in my tummy all week. I just feel so bad, and I don't know why. I'm just glad the week is over. I'm so tired of sitting at my desk all day. I wish I could figure out some way to work from home - that would be too sweet. I have a good job, good benes, good people (mostly) to work with, but for some reason I just can't stand it sometimes. Part of it has to do with listening to the weenie next door to me all day. I hired this guy years ago, and he's moved up pretty fast in the company (we're at the same level now). It has really gone to his head. Truly, I've never run into anyone before who was that impressed with himself. It's very annoying sometimes. And he's got this grating habit of just hollering from his desk at the person on the other side of my office, so I get stuck in the middle of their shouted-down-the-hall conversation. Really, is it that hard to walk 15 feet to the other person's office or call them on the phone?

The kid's been back in school 4 days now. He says he feels very conspicuous at his new school, being one of apparently just a handful of white kids. I've tried really hard to raise my kids to be color-blind, and I'm really hoping that this doesn't change his attitude in that regard. What I can't figure out is, where are the other white kids in our neighborhood going to school? There's only the one middle school that serves our neighborhood, which is very diverse. Very strange...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

No root canal!

The dentist visit was still really expensive, but I didn't need a root canal after all. The root wasn't broken off with the top part of the tooth - what I thought was root turned out to be granola. The broken tooth part fell out 2 days before my appointment, but I found some temporary filling stuff at the drugstore, and that worked fine for the little while I had to wait to see the dentist. I have a temporary crown right now, and I'll get a real one in September sometime. Not much else happening this week. Still a lot of side effects from kicking Effexor, but I guess that will just take time.

School started Tuesday, and of course, the kid missed the bus the very first day. I'm so glad his ass is off the couch. His new school start later than last year's, so he doesn't get on the bus until after 8. I had to change my work hours so I work 8:30 to 5:30 now. I get to sleep later, but the drive home is going to suck more. Oh, well - it can't be helped. I'm just not comfortable driving off and leaving my kid standing on a street corner.

Friday, August 12, 2005

A fond memory

Out of nowhere, I just found myself thinking about one of my fondest work-related memories. I worked for a while in a secure office building where we needed to use a key to even get in the bathroom. I was heading for the potty one day just as one of the chicks from the office down the hall was leaving. She was one of those "I'm attractive and you're fat so you are invisible to me" types of people. So it was no surprise that she just let the bathroom door swing shut in my face so I had to haul my key out. As she pranced down the hall, probably thinking about how cute she was, I looked after her in annoyance. To my great delight, she'd gotten the back of her skirt caught up in the waistband of her panty hose, and she didn't have any panties on - her whole ass was bare. If she'd held the door open for me, I'd have let her know, but instead I just watched her walk down the hall to her suite and smiled. I guess that wasn't very Christian of me, but she was a real bitch. I wonder how long the engineers she worked with let her walk around like that. I like to think it was a good long while.

Where to begin?

It's been quite a week. Sunday, hubby had a showdown with his boss and wound up quitting, rather than continue to be treated like a piece of shit and have his integrity questioned by some shitkicker asshole. I had terrible anxiety for a few days, but he found another job right away. Trouble is, this one's not just in another city - it's in another state. School's about to start and my house is nowhere ready to sell, so I'll be stuck here husbandless for about a year. But there's a silver lining - I'll probably be able quit working altogether next summer. The new gig he's been offered is pretty sweet, and about as rock-solid as possible as far as job security goes. Downside, it's not in the funeral biz - he's gonna manage a restaurant again. Being out of state most of the time is going to make it hard for him to get his funeral director's license, but he thinks he can pull it off. He's already got over half of the cases he needs, and as long as he can turn in two cases a month, he's got another 18 months to finish the apprenticeship. But I don't think it will take him that long. He's already got another sponsor and is working out a deal to work (for free, just for the experience) at an embalming service. It's gonna be really hard on him, but he's convinced he can do it.

In the middle of all this work drama, I bit down on a nice crunchy piece of granola and broke a damn tooth Wednesday night. The dentist was booked all day Thursday and doesn't work Fridays, so I'm in pain and can't chew until Monday morning. The tooth is a molar, and about a quarter of it (with a root) is detached from the rest of the tooth, but still stuck fast to my gum. Some times the broken tooth edges grate together - it's gruesome. And the broken piece gets twisted out of place and I have to fiddle around with it with my fingers until it settles back into its spot. That's not much fun either. I'm guess a root canal is in my future.

And the bad luck doesn't stop there - hubby's car started acting up Sunday (incidentally this was the catalyst for the showdown with his boss), and needed almost $600 work this week. Now that he's got a job lined up, he's making new car noises, but I don't want to get saddled with a car note until this one craps out for good. The mechanic said it was in great shape despite its huge mileage.

I'm still smoking like a chimney, but I'm almost off meds. Xanax consumption is way down, one in the morning only, and maybe one at night. I'm done with Effexor altogether, and I have about another 10 days or so of Wellbutrin. So pretty soon I'll get to see what my unmedicated mind is like. It's been really cool for work - I'm concentrating so much better and not spending nearly so much time goofing off while looking busy. I had a programming project that meant learning a new development tool, and I finished today. From a technical standpoint, I really think it is one of the best things I've ever done. I've accounted for every possible potential error, got the applications writing everything it does to a log file, and there's not a spare line of code anywhere - it's completely tight. No kludgy workarounds, either.

There's a paraplegic guy working in my office building for a different company, and the building management has made a ton of improvements to accommodate him. They've added automatic door openers and ramps and lowered the security scanners and such. I think it's really cool that they are doing so much for this guy, though I suspect their motive is simply to not get sued. The guy seems to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder. I guess I'd be pissy too if I was paralyzed. But you ought to see the souped-up wheelchair he zooms around in. I swear, he must be able to do 20 miles an hour. After trudging around all day in shoes that hurt my feet (they're way cute, though), I'm almost jealous.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Life stinks, literally

The receptionist where I work *loves* cosmetics. She re-does her face a few times during the day - I think that by 5:00, there must be a layer of greasy powder an eighth of an inch thick. But where she really excels is with perfume. I don't recognize the scent, but it smells expensive, and she wears a *lot* 0f it. If you get in the elevator after her, you can TASTE the perfume. I carry my security card with me all day so I can use the side entrances at work - anything to avoid walking through the lobby with its cloud of flowery poison.

I don't know why I'm so bothered by odors at work (if you've been reading along for a while, you'll remember my trials with Stinky Man down the hall). They sure don't bug me at home - my house reeks, with three dogs and sporadic housekeeping. The German Shepherd is especially stinky, even freshly bathed. I guess I'm just used to it at home. Or maybe I just don't mind stink that I volunteered for - I just don't like having someone else's odor forced on me.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Not much worth blogging about

I got my car back, good as new. My grandfather came to visit us over the weekend, and hubby came home Sunday and stayed til yesterday morning. I took two days off work, so I had a nice long weekend. We slept late and just laid around. Very nice.

I've been having a lot of anxiety, not sure why, but it is driving me nuts. I feel so awful most of the time, and I am crying at the drop of a hat. I'm almost off all the meds. Only 37.5 mg Effexor, the Wellbutrin, and Xanax. I'll drop the Effexor next week, and the Wellbutrin when I run out. I try to take the Xanax as little as possible, but I don't think I'll be giving it up soon. Oh well, at least it's cheap. I just couldn't afford the rest of the meds anymore, and I don't think they were helping all that much to boot. At any rate, the weaning is practically done. Have to wait and see what happens...hopefully I won't lose it again.