Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Questions for Tom Cruise

I realize it's highly doubtful that Tom Cruise will ever read my blog, but just in case, I have some questions. Mr. Cruise, you are an absolutely gorgeous bit of eye candy, but you should probably stop talking about things you obviously know nothing about. You think psychiatry is bogus, and you've been helped instead by Scientology. From what I've read, Scientology has helped you and its other adherents rid yourselves of "body thetans", thus vastly improving your lives. If I understand the material on the Internet correctly, these body thetans are invisible space cooties left over from an alien invasion 75,000,000 years ago, and it only through the vast wisdom of L. Ron Hubbard (and massive amounts of cash, I'm told) that you now find yourself cootie-free. Don't you ever wonder if maybe, just maybe, you've been scammed? Why in the world would the secrets of the universe be revealed to L. Ron, who may well be one of the worst published authors ever? The whole thing reads like one of his horrible books. If there really were space cooties glomming on to us, don't you think *real* scientists would have figured it out by now? Please, spare us the proselytizing and stick to what you do best - being decorative. And shame on you for helping to spread the word of a dangerous money-making scam that poses as a religion.

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